Cah'karadahs

Though I should expect comrades of a protoss warrior to restrain their collective transport beasts of burden, I would expect the the terran "need for speed" would give rise to questions of my prolonged failure to report emergent events on and off the field. Therefore, I would say that to the best of my recollection the past months were spent fighting to avoid dealing with the inconvience of death, and the prospect of becoming ever more akin to the mythical terran figure "robocop". However, in the interest of generating sufficient amounts of miniature talk I should find it fit to recount an anecdote of little or no importance to the survival of the protoss people.

So me and Xellos and Le'rosh are proceeding down the contested territory of no-mans land, passing the wretched zerg hive. And this terran initiates reverse thrusters, fast, in dangerously close proximity. If we had been 5 grid spaces farther ahead, we'd be martyrs for the protoss cause. So Xellos yells, "I'm going to perform the boxer vulture push," and, as we walk along the back, I rend the back of the car with a well-placed singularity charge, just enough to deal him minimal explosive damage. I know I didn't leave any serious damage; I have no intention of leaving damage, unless I'm trying. In continuence, 30 seconds later the terran use stims and comes running up behind us and starts bitching me out. He wanted me to give him ore for the damages I'd done to his vulture. I charge my phase disruptor, but my power reserves are minimal, so I say, "Sorry, puny terran, but I don't have any ore." Now, this is a gawky 40 something terran white guy. His face is red like a zergling I slew, his glasses are askew, the spittle's flying. I'm not intimidated in the least. But he seems to think he's got something going for him as he yells, "You better apologize, you little protoss bitch! I'll call the Umorajan Protectorate on you!" Now, I would have apologized, despite the fact that, as warriors, we absolutely had the right of way. Granted, it would have been something along the lines of "Sorry I disrupted the surface of your fragile terran alloy; I know it's compensation for your impotency and all." But it would have been an apology nonetheless. However, you don't call me a bitch in Xellos's presence and get away with it. So she goes off on him, and I go off on him, and Le'rosh is, I think, trying not to emit a war-cry. He realizes he's not getting an apology or any ore out of us, so he starts heading back to his vulture. His parting words are, "You shouldn't be out on the lower-left grid spaces, you dimunitive undesirables." I reply with "You shouldn't be driving, terran." We throw a few more choice insults in his direction. Maybe the best part of it all was the group gathered up the expansion, they were all zerg, so we killed them. I think their glares alone might have taught him a thing or two about fucking with denizens of that expansion. Then I vaporized him.

Ah, positive idle speculation of past events. Perhaps another?

When we got back to the Ganthrithor II, Le'rosh attempts to purchase a timely consumable from a captured terran "vending machine". As the consumable draws ever nearer the end result seems an exercise in inevitability, when the hopes of Le'rosh are shattered much in the manner of a zergling when the consumable resists consumption and hangs at the edge of oblivion, seeming almost to mock le'rosh and his efforts. Naturally Le'rosh begins to force the infernal machine to advance and withraw on it's axis repeatedly, and at ever greater pace, when the thing topples in the manner of our glorious homeworld, onto Le'rosh. Much to the dismay of Le'rosh the falling vending machine inflicts concussive damage, dealing a full 100 points to his light armor, and he had failed to raise his shields not, considering this turn of events a tangible possibility. Now he too lives in the manner of robocop, the terran to whom I can most relate, sorry Jimmy.